Poem of the Month

Elections 2008

My opponent has voted for tax increases 749 times.
He supports the end of motherhood, apple pie
and anything else you happen to like.

He has advocated porn movies for kindergarteners,
and freedom for vicious killers
as part of his plan for population control,
and he supports the unbridled cloning of terrorists.

My opponent believes that the middle-class should pay for
and be responsible for everything.
He has advocated euthanizing the lower class.
Since no politician talks about them, anyway,
he says we might as well just eliminate them.

Since this will cause the rest of us to cook our own fast food,
he advocates opening the borders to allow anyone
who wants to enter our country to enter at any time.
(I will give him credit, he thinks they should be taught
how to prepare fast food.)

Since there will be no lower class,
he advocates expanding the upper class
because no one talks about them either.
They are referred to euphemistically
as upper income earners , or UIE’s.
He wants to lower taxes on the UIE’s
and replace the loss of revenue
with taxes on the middle class.

(Please stop interrupting me with boos.
I will not treat my opponent
with less than total respect.)

Speaking of respect. My opponent advocates
abandoning our senior citizens
out on the polar ice cap—sooner rather than later--
because the ice cap is melting rapidly.
He believes that if this practice
was good enough for Eskimo elderly,
it should be good enough for ours.

Not only will eliminating these useless oldsters
free up more space in hospitals and Florida,
it will also eliminate social security and Medicare.
My opponent thinks these are workable plans
that will bring about a reduction in our deficit.

Since he also advocates replacing the dollar with the peso
because two bits, four bits, six bits, a peso
 sounds better than two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar,
he obviously isn’t in tune with our current economic uncertainty
and besides, it would cost a lot of money to print all those pesos.

In conclusion, I must also mention
that my opponent is not only the anti-Christ;
a direct descendant of Jack the Ripper;
and once supported both Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin;
but he is also a card-carrying member of the opposition party.

I am a candidate for state-wide and/or national office
and I approve this message.